Horror


  • I was checking my hair in the mirror when my wife came up behind me, wrapped her arms around me, and said I’ve never looked better. I don’t know which feeling is worse; that she said this as I was getting ready for my first night out with a new girl in ten years, or that my wife has been dead that long.

  • She sat with him, holding him and singing a lullaby to help him sleep. This creature from his dreams refused to let him go.

  • The flight attendant said they offered free in-flight Wi-Fi, so I decided to connect. When I looked for it I noticed a second one appear, and the signal got stronger.

  • Meanwhile, as Freddy was eagerly and hungrily slurping up his breakfast, he had only one thought. “Brains and oatmeal are kinda good, once you get used to it.” – Theresa Luedtke

  • I was so happy when my new family joined me for dinner with my old family. We all thought their flesh was cooked perfectly. – James Kuhn

  • I was so happy that we could finally eat again after starving for so long. “Mommy, where’s daddy?”

  • No one questioned the broken skin on his fingers or the scars on his knuckles. It spoke on its own how he couldn’t loosen the noose in time to save his son.

  • I’ve never been as happy as I was when I saw her eat her birthday cake. I wondered how quickly the poison would work.

  • I can't move, breathe, speak or hear and it's so dark all the time. If I knew it would be this lonely, I would have been cremated instead. – Graboid27

  • Teeth, fur, growls and eyes; these things you do not need to fear. It is the smile that says everything will be alright that should terrify you.

  • Blindfolded and tied to a chair, the sound of footsteps coming towards her sent tremors through her whole body. Her only thought was, is he friend or foe. – Sharon Spencer

  • “Dad? Does that gun in your hand mean I’ll be seeing mommy in heaven soon?”

  • With the straps loosened from her neck Brandy could finally breathe. But now there was nothing to stop the blood from gushing from the slit in her throat.

  • My infant son's screams jolted me awake. But that was impossible, I miscarried him two months ago.

  • Twenty-five cents for one of my teeth isn't much. But once I get back from the graveyard I'll be rich!

  • Why are these people in my house, acting like they own the place and ignoring me whenever I try to talk to them? It wasn't until I started throwing things that they listened to me and ran out, right through me. – James Kuhn

  • Looking back, all the ups and downs, good and bad, only one thing came to mind. "I love you dear,” I said as I closed my eyes and my hand relaxed. – James Kuhn

 

Comedy


  • We’re sorry for the delay, but the train has stopped due to police activity. Today’s activity is arts and crafts. – Rocko’s Modern Life

  • Polygamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing.

  • Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. – seowryan

  • Without love breath is just a ticking clock. Without breath love is necrophilia.

 

Drama


  • A little girl told me today she was ready to die. The cancer had taken her childhood from her, but at eight years old she was stronger and more certain than I ever would be.

  • “When do I tell her?” he thought as he held their newborn child. “When do I tell my wife that I know this child isn’t mine?”

  • It all came crashing down for her when she heard his words, her lies and the baby she held all called into question. “I’m sterile.”

  • I saw a pair of eyes today that held such a deep forlorn look to them. It hit me even harder when I realized I was looking in a mirror. – James Kuhn

  • The word “yes” brought me the happiest years of my life, turning my girlfriend into my wife. Now “yes” brings me an unknowable pain as the answer to my question “are you cheating on me?”